12 CDs for the Price of 1!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Special Update, A Knock Out! See #5

1. Mayor Diaz closes the door to his political future, while opening while opening doors to a future of unchecked development and Hell. Eight story height restrictions in healthy, established single family home areas. Hubs of virtually unlimited height where there is no transportation to speak of. Failure to outlaw the sort of building footprints that give us McMansions. And the bestis’ of ‘em all, Mayor Dickhead has left no room for community review and approval in the development process. *Duany and Plater-Zyberk (who scored the trifecta in the conflict of interests sweepstakes), not only worked with the mayor to repeatedly shush the community. They also made their constituency, developers, happy. After viewing the Miami 21 presentation, a smiling, misty-eyed Brickell area developer named Alan Ojeda said simply, “It’s good”.

I would like to believe that this was an attempt by these so-called New Urbanist bullshit artist to revive the recently passed “Mother of Modern Urban Planning” Jane Jacobs by having her roll over in her fresh grave. Or perhaps they hadn’t heard she was interred and tried to bury her.

2. In related news Cindy Dwyer at the county zoning commission secretly asks herself, "Why do I work for these fucks.” Despite the state’s recommendation that building be halted in the area, the local guvmint shows why they are the assholes we all know and hate. Take a trip to the old South Dade before it disappears!

3. Immigration. Local undocumented residents confirm sneaking suspicion that they the man is out to get'em. And da man is sendin’ 'em back with Dubya’s approval.

Oh, and here is another story on the local immigration crackdown. Anticipating my customary cry, “why don’t you actually do something worthwhile like go after criminals”, law enforcement does a two for on. I didn’t realize how cosmopolitan the local undocumented felon community is. It includes Argentines, Colombians, Cubans, British, Hondurans, Jamaicans, Romanians, and Trinidadians!

4. Public Health Trust and UM look forward to rationing care and Mayor Alvarez says, “Fuck it, nothin’ I can do. I tried to be Mayor but you chicken-shit voters didn’t have my back. Besides, no cameras at the meeting. "

5. And the reason you have this bonus coverage. Johnny Winton upstaged the late Mr. Teele by actually hitting police officers rather than making a veiled-hint-at-an-implied-threat-couched-in-an-actual-denial. Johnny kicked one officer and BROKE ANOTHER’S TOOTH! There is absolutely no way that he can remain on the city commission. If he isn’t I’m going to personally start a riot at City Hall by blocking the secret entrance that developers use. Will Winton make a trip to see Jim Defede? Is it horrible that I have mixed feelings about the possibility?

*Elizabeth Plater Zyberk, is a consultant who has worked with the city so much she is the de facto department head at City Planning, while she and husband Andres Duany work as the principal consultants to the city for "Miami 21" . The couple as owners of Architectonica (orignial architects to cocaine barons) are much sought after by local developers! And of course Liz Plater-Zyberg is Dean of the School of Architectue at UM and hubby Andres works as a lecturer, thus hushing any of that academic backlash.

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